Monday, 9 June 2014

Ultimate Trousers. And the Most Stupid Thing EVER

God, this post has taken a while to get round to. Where, dear reader, does time GO? I get in from work and ten minutes later, it's bed time; or so it seems. So no blog post since I went on the Sew Over It Ultimate Trousers course last week.
I have to say, I really enjoyed my day there. The other girls were lovely; Julie, the teacher, was great; the lemon drizzle cake was the tastiest cake ever. Sadly, my trousers did not come out as well as I envisaged:
It's quite hard to see because of the spots but there's a bit of erm...a baggy crotch and a saggy bottom issue going on. The top also gapes at the waist, which I think is because of my terrible overlocking skills on the facing. And I had to lengthen the front because I have a long torso.
I was slightly disappointed that the baggy/saggy issues weren't addressed during the class. Having spent £95 on the class, I pretty much have a pair of trousers I'll seldom wear and no idea how to fix the issue. I'd definitely recommend the classes, but more if you just want to learn to sew rather than learn to fit. Oh, and the other girls on the course made amazing trousers with no fit issues, so I think it's just me and my peculiar shape/lack of shape rather than the pattern.
So, onto the Most Stupid Thing EVER. If you've read my blog before, you may remember that I am OBSESSED with my bodice fitting issues (read about the obsession here and here). My current project is the Sew Over It Betty Dress, which I plan to make in navy blue cotton. I want a bodice that fits goddamn it. So I watched my Craftsy Course, I traced off my pattern pieces, I increased the seam allowance by another 3/8" to give some wiggle room in the muslin, then I clatted about making a muslin with lines sewn on it, as per the course. Then I went to see my Granma for help. This is after I tried to get the Lovely Mister to help. Here's how that went:
Me: Can you just pin up the back to hold the back closed?
LM: How do I do that?
Me: Do you not know how to put in a pin?
LM: No. Why would I know that?
Me: You've never pinned anything?
LM: No.
Me: (brief silence whilst agog). Well, this is how you do it (shows LM slowly on spare fabric)
LM: (looks at me like I've just performed alchemy. I show him again.) Right got it.
Me: OK. Be careful. Just go up the line I pressed in the back.
LM: What?
Me: The crease! (lengthy pause)
LM: I think I've done it
Me: (not convinced as I don't feel very secure in the bodice) Really?
LM: Yeah, I think so.
Me: (feeling round the back, immediately prick myself on a pin) Have you just poked it through the fabric?
LM: Yes! That's what you showed me!
Me: How have you fucked this up? How can you not know how to pin?! (has a sit down as hysterical laughter has descended on the house. Dog looks confused.) You're useless. I'm going to my Gran's.
So I trotted off to my Gran's leaving the Lovely Mister to recover from his ordeal listening to a record. (Honestly, how does he put up with me? Also to contend with this weekend, trying to get some knit fabric to lie flat during which I was almost moved to tears. A saint I tell you).
Now, who's tried to explain to an eighty-seven year old woman that you would like to do something she has been doing for the last seventy years differently? Any takers? No, didn't think so. But I tried. I failed. We did not do it like the Craftsy course. But the bodice did fit by the end (BTW, did a full bust adjustment (1/2") who'd have thunk it?!) and I came away with lots of drawing on me. Including making the shoulders narrower.
This should have been the red light for me - I do not have narrow shoulders. My shoulders poke out of every top. I cannot wear capped sleeves for risk of losing my arms if I put my hands above my head.
When I finally sat down to do some sewing over the weekend, I realised my cataclysmic error. Remember the extra 3/8" I added to the muslin pattern pieces? Yeah? I added 3/8" to the centre front as well. Where it says 'cut on fold' I added a total of nearly an INCH! AN INCH!! So the darts are screwed, the back is screwed and my Granma's gone on a holiday so I'm now stuck! I had to take the bodice to work today and ask a colleague I know enough to talk about sewing with but not enough (as it turns out) to help me pin bust darts in the ladies' loo to help.
What. A. Numpty.

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